Duke Nukem: Forever Review

In 1996 I was a fresh faced child who was new to the world of PC gaming. My family had received an already outdated by many standards of the day, a Packard Bell 75mhz computer. With barely enough ability to run Windows 95, I was introduced to a whole new world. A world that was before this moment occupied by Sonic and Mario, due to only having access to console games at this time. Needless to say it took hold and PC gaming has always had a very special place in my heart.

One of my very first games I was introduced to was a shareware copy of Duke Nukem 3D. Probably more at the time I was more amazed with the shear amount of violence, gore and boobies than anything else in the game. I mean it was like a R-Rated Movie for me at this time. But enough reminiscing, needless to say Duke has always held a dear place in my heart, maybe because of my loss of innocence at hands of this game, but maybe because I played the hell out of shareware and the Atomic Edition of its incarnations.

This review unlike many of the others seeks to ratify Duke for the current generation. In all honestly I think many reviews have been too harsh on poor Duke.

Probably the best way to describe Duke Nukem: Forever is like have an old friend show up a party very late. Not just very late, almost to the point where the vast majority has left and simply the stragglers or people too drunk are still hanging around. This said old seeing the situation at your party being very dim and boring, decided the best way to liven up the party is to leave a turd by the punch bowl. To some people this seems funny (me) but to many others (vast majority of gaming community), the sight of a turd by the punch bowl disgusts them. Duke Nukem Forever is that turd.

Story: Is there really a story to Duke Nukem: Forever? Not really. It actually doesn’t deviate much from the original context in which we often find Duke. Aliens invade, steal our chicks and it’s up to Duke like always to save the world. There is a minor “plot” twist at the end of the game, but honestly it was pointless. But if it is something about classic games from the PC era, story was never their finer points. Usually revolving around the simple plot of kill everything with the largest gun possible, and Duke Forever does not leave this far behind. But can we really expect Duke to have that much a story? Probably not. I mean the character in itself is an arc-type that wouldn’t lead itself to even having a story. In many instances the story of Duke Nukem: Forever is a story Written, Produced and Directed by Duke himself.

Gameplay: The game play is your typical FPS. You point towards something that is running towards you and try to kill it before it kills you. There are some half hearted attempts for puzzles. They barrow from Half-Life 2’s physic puzzles. But they are nearly not as clever and actually serve to be minor hick-ups in the game play. But a game about Duke shouldn’t really be focused around puzzles anyway, it should be about killing things, and there is no lack of that. However the guns and creative ways to dispatch your enemies are just generic. The shotgun is still the best weapon, being able to take down all enemies expect for bosses in a few bursts. Even weapons like the shrink ray and the freeze ray which could have had the possibilities to be cool, fall short. And with “Halo” ability to have only two guns at a time is kinda annoying for a game such a Duke. I mean its suppose to be about having the most fire power as possible to kill your enemies, but with the lack of having only two weapons is annoying for this game. This is especially true with trying to the get the Gun Slinger achievement where you must carry Duke’s Gold M1911. This is all together too weak for any encounter except at the beginning. I don’t know what happened to Duke’s Desert Eagle that were in the original scream shots and game play video, but they should of left it in.

But without great level design you can’t have a great game. And honestly having a game like Duke Nukem 3D which was been a beacon for level design, to the really pitiful level design that is Duke Nukem Forever. With linear corridor esque levels that really towards the end of the game become painfully boring, you won’t ever get lost. However it feels like the game is really in two parts, a somewhat polished first part that has fun levels and is interesting. And second part that was thrown together out of broken ideas to simply publish and ship the game.

What were really terrible where the force platforming portions and the underwater part. Understandable once again there were left over from a different era of games, but they do not translate well into the modern field. One part in particular caused me great anguish. After being shrunken (it happens a lot in the game, but the few moments in the beginning it was actually kinda fun) later on, you have to maneuver yourself through air ways and machinery in the Hoover dam. I died nearly 25 times trying to get through moving gear within a machine. But I blame this one the controls.

Duke often controls like a tank. There are visibly present in the moments when you require hands of a surgeon to move across a careful narrow ledge. Or when under water he swims like he is covered in cement. Granted I wasn’t expecting speed of Michael Phelps but still…come on Duke, you can swim faster then that.

The Game also toots a degree of interactivity with the environment. This isn’t blowing up walls ala Red Faction, but various items in the environment you can play with and receive EGO boosts. Your EGO acts like a shield, so its necessary to receive these boosts. However at times it seems rather tedious. Case in point the Pin Ball Machine. Never in my life have I become so mad at a game within a game (a game cepetion). With un responsive controls how can one obtain the EGO boost from this god forsaken devil machine. Only with reflexes of a jungle cat and even that may not be enough. Granted this is not a necessity for the game, but if you are going to include something such as this within the game, at least make it playable.

Audio/Visual: Audio is nothing stellar. However Duke’s one-liners are still funny to me. I did actually laugh a couple times when Duke would yell “Damnit!” or “Shit!” when I messed something up. And the context particular ones are sometimes funny. But then you start to hear the same things over and over again, and then it loses its originality.

The visuals are by far the worst part of this game. I hate to say it but at sometimes it’s hard to even play it when it looks so bad. This is especially true of the outdoor environments. Jesus Christ how terrible can they be? With even barren lands the game still managed to slow down to a shear grind in some portions. Granted the visuals are suppose to be better on the PC (which is what I played the original demo on at PAX 2010), but for consoles it’s pretty terrible. The inside environments are not as bad as the outside, but they are still lacking. I will say some how the game can show slime and sheen very well. This is especially true in the Alien Hive level where everything is covered in a thin layer of film. But for a game that has been in development for 12 years, and has spent the last 2 years being ported to consoles should look better than this.

Overall:

Duke has not aged well. It’s sad to say when I looked back at the Game play videos from E3 2006 and 2007, the game looked better than it does now, and it looked like it had originality. But did I have fun playing it and reliving a part of my childhood, yes. But that can only go so far. I really wanted to like this game, and I did to a point, but nostalgia can only go so far. Unfortunately with a market flooded right now with Half-life, Halo’s, and Crysis, there may not be a place for Duke anymore. It’s kind of sad really, that all the other older games made more successful jumps to current generations then Duke (except for Quake 4, but that’s a whole different story). I really hope I see Duke again, and I think Gearbox has the ability to bring him back. They did accomplish something that took 12 years to do, which is pretty amazing. But in the end, the released a pretty half-assed attempt at trying to recapture the Duke franchise. It’s sad that this was supposed to be his crowning return, but instead it’s still a turd next to the punch bowl.

Score: 4.0/10