Starhawk (PS3)

Starhawk is an interesting game in that its hard to classify it into one genre. One could try, but instead you would end up with a mis-classifications. Probably the best description is a third person action flight sim RTS. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Following of the heals of Warhawk (well maybe not heels since it came out in 2007, how about foot prints that where later covered up by the crashing ocean, somewhat romantic right?) Starhawk aims to be a lot of things and does a pretty good job at it. I played both the original Warhawk (1995) and the remake (2007) a good deal. Granted they are both two different games, but they where still fun. The first game was very much a "flight" sim and I use that distinction loosely. The remake was a multi-player only game.

Starhawk seems to try to right the wrongs of the last game. While it added a single player portion, its really just a tutorial. It only takes about 6 hours to complete. You can go back through and try and get better times and medals, but these really don't serve any purpose. Instead the bulk of this game is meant to be played online. While there isn't a great deal of variety, the multi-player games are a blast. It never gets old calling down new structures to help defend your base. But your base seems to be the biggest problem, if the opposing team is well coordinated and they can essentially spawn camp the balls out of your base. This kind of diminishes the fun and doesn't allow for the greatest challenge at over coming overwhelming odds. The vehicles, while there aren't a lot of variety are enjoyable, flying the Starhawks is great fun. I loved taking off, flying to the enemy base and bombarding the hell out of it. Only to transform in their base and kill everything...so I guess I am kind of a dick in those matters. Also I don't know what it is, but the structures seems incredibly weak to me. When some guy can walk up and take down a sentry gun with a few swipes of his knife...there is something wrong. I haven't played the prospector mode yet, which looks fun, but I can't get together any co-op people to enjoy it with. My girlfriend has an adherence to playing video games with me in which she can "look right at them" (i.e. third person perspective). I suppose she mainly serves as enemy distraction in any case.

I have enjoyed Starhawk. Its a very good multi player distraction especially for someone like me who hates playing with out people. I'll probably continue playing it while farming for trophies.

Paint ball and the RUSH of the kill

I am by no means a nimble person. I have always used the excuse I'm built for endurance more so then speed. Going paint balling for the first time yesterday showed that even a beast of burden such as myself can get low and hide when shit hits the fan.

Going off my history with first person shooters I thought I would be dominating the field. Running around, jumping off ledges, doing flips and shit. In reality however I spent much of time hiding like a little girl screaming for my mommie. The few times I rushed the side I was met with utter defeat. Maybe I am not as young as I use to be and I am a fairly large target, but sometimes I swear shit just got crazy. For one instance I thought about running up the right side of the field dodging my way through a corridor to try and flank the opposing team. However not being the "speediest" I was shot three times before I made it to the other side. The one time I met with triumph was basically sneaking my way up the the other side to find my brother laying in wait. I don't know how accurate I am, but I nailed him right in the hand, rendering him defenseless. It might have been my only kill the whole day, but what a kill.

They often say video games and real life don't translate well. That is an understatement. I don't know if it was my gun or maybe my lack accuracy, but I felt like I couldn't hit anything. I am unsure if it was just because the gun was a rental and doesn't represent the highest quality, but it felt like I couldn't hit anything from a distance. I tried picking off people, but I felt like my balls where all over the place ::12 year old laugh::. I don't know if paint ball barrels are bored or not. I mean its 2012, shouldn't all guns be bored by now? Didn't the civil war teach us anything? But I felt as if when I was shooting the ball would hit somewhere, but usually not where I intended.

This leads me to the realization, that with superior fire power, us peons don't stand a chance. One guy had some kind of rapid fire paint ball gun. It was a beast. Must of cost nearly 1500, which I think is a lot for a gun. But the few times he got me, it was at least 3-4 times in a row. It was a far cry from our little semi-automatic "US Army" replicas.

Whatever the case, I enjoyed it immensely. I don't know if it was the rush, or the thrill or even tagging my brother, but it was really enjoyable. I joked at the end, they will see me back next week all decked out ready for combat. If I had a full time job and maybe a constant set to go with, I would enjoy it. It would certainly give me an excuses to get back down to my scrappin' weight.

Prototype 2 (PS3)

I have to say I enjoyed the first Prototype game. It came out during a very dry period in gaming in 2009 and I enjoyed it. However, maybe its due to the amount of games I play, but it wasn't very memorable. While I remember running around New York City waving my giant tentacle arms and gobbling up innocents, I don't remember a damn thing from the story line.

Flash forward to 2012 and now we have a sequel. While I enjoyed Prototype 2, it suffers from the same problem as the first game, its not memorable. Missions are tied together loosely with black and white cut scene that only have blue and red. I realize this is Radical's attempt at being artistic, but come on guys, I think we can move on past that. They also inter cut weird full motion video into the consuming portions. I remember this from the first game and while it may be neat the first couple times, whats the point?

Another problem I have is graphics. I don't usually care too much about this, I mean hell I played MorphX just fine and didn't care about them. But I wish they could make the shape changing and tentacle stuff look better. I looks at times like a last generation with an HD shine put on it. And honestly the game looks it best when you're far away from everything...that's kind of sad when you think about it.


Besides having a fairly predictable story with a twist that you could see from a mile a way, Prototype 2 is fun. Its fun to play. Plain and simple. Running up the side of a building only to jump kick off, glide a few meters and land on some poor solider never gets old. I also liked the powers, while it doesn't seem like there are as many in the first game, it added an element where you can yield two powers at once. Its pretty cool to be slicing someone with a giant sword arm to go to pummeling them with hammer fists.


While there is a greater amount of customized ability (kind of), Prototype does make you feel like a genetic bad ass. I will say however, compared to the first game, I hate the main character in the second game. Jame Heller is not a like able protagonist. His gruff angry voice and his all around lack of humanity makes him an unlikeable hero. Even if he is an anti-hero, I don't see a redeeming quality about him. With Alex Mercer in the first game, I felt more of a connection. His story made sense to while he is mad. With Heller...it doesn't make sense and his revenge story doesn't redeem him.

But like I said I enjoyed Prototype 2, its certainly worth a discounted price for admission, but its a fun mindless romp. 

Star Wars: The Old Republic (PC)

I should probably start off by saying I am not the biggest fan of Bioware (shocking). A once great and imaginative company that created some of the best RPGs of all time has really become a shell of its former self. Its latest incarnations really show the lack of creativity and all around dedication to making big money games with little filler. This saying while being purchased and controlled by EA, they have only produced two games that I really count as original and enjoyable titles. Mass Effect 1 and Dragon Age: Origins. The other games in that series are just terrible creations that show the current trend that Bioware and video games as a whole have taken.

Well with that rant out of the way, on to Star Wars: The Old Republic. Unlike most people, I remember a time before WoW and the current trend of MMORPGS. I remember playing long hours of Meridian 59 (look it up) and Ultima Online. But probably the most fondest of my MMO memories was my time spent in Star Wars: Galaxies. Now this was a game that was huge and filled with depth. Everything was amazing about this game, until the combat upgrade that destroyed everything that anyone had worked for and sent Galaxies into a sort of dark ages.

Star Wars: The Old Republic is not like Galaxies in the slightest. It is essentially fresh coat of paint slapped onto the aging WoW genre of MMOs. With that being said, it lacks any sort of depth and imagination that all the previous MMOs had before it. Granted you can basically play the game soloing the whole time (which I did like because I detest humanity, especially people who play video games), but even that was disappointing. Where is the community? Where is the connection? You never feel like you are building towards something big, you feel like a piece in the puzzle and you are living someone else's story.

My other problem with the game is that its too damn linear. Where is the sense of exploration? The world are far too small and confined to actually feel a living and breathing world. You are essentially confined canyons with some open room between them to travel. Yes there is space travel, but that simply serves as a ship to travel to from one canyon to another.

While I don't play on PvP servers anymore (Thanks WoW for teaching me that people are truly dicks when given enough power) because of ganking. But even the PvP elements in SWTOR is essentially capture the flag? Who even enjoys this drivel type of entertainment? While WoW employed a sense of strategy with its battleground, Hutt Ball is a poor excuse for anything PvP related.

Lastly my final gripe is the crafting. While its fine to send your comrades off to go gather materials (don't get me started on your NPC partners, glorified pets), crafting is basic and lackluster.

All in all SWTOR is simply another game added to the WoW demographic of MMORPGs. While its the most costly game ever created it doesn't show that in a positive way. Just add lasers, a crap ton of voice actors and a space element to WoW and you have Star Wars: The Old Republic.

The Walking Dead (PS3)

I have always been a fan of adventure games, hell Grim Fandango is one of my top favorite games of all time. And I really like TellTale Games for keeping the genre alive and reinvigorating it. While I didn't know they where making a Walking Dead game, I had played all of there other games. I have to say though, Jurassic Park was probably not the best game. It just lacked something that Back to the Future, Sam and Max and Monkey Island series had. Plus the girl in that game was absolutely terrible and many time I would purposely fail just to have her be eaten by a velociraptor. I secretly hoped her father would move on with his life, while mourning a little bit, but in the end be realized that he was happy didn't have to carry her around anymore.

The Walking Dead takes all the mistakes from Jurassic Park and throws them away. Its a quick (granted only the first episode has been released) exciting game, that never fails to impress. While it touts how your decisions actually will effect the game later on (not like some Mass Effect bullshit), the game makes you invested in your choices. I questioned myself a great deal after I chose to save the boy over the farmers son. I still don't think I made the right choice, but I have to live with it.

The graphics are amazing and really capture the graphic novel qualities. The cell shading is minuscule, but makes you feel like you are playing a comic book. This is a far greater telling of the original source material then the hit AMC television show. The controls are tight and they need to be for the quick responses you have to give. On little slip and you are zombie chow. Of it you make a wrong move and let some else be eaten, the rest of the people will remember that. For example when Glenn witnesses you allowing a bitten women take her own life, its something that will haunt you and your relationship with him. The dialog is the highlight of the game, granted when its an adventure game, what else do you have to go on? I could sit there and little to voice actors talk about the world and everything, it was just wonderfully written.

I really enjoyed the Walking Dead, it was a shame the first episode only clocked in around 3 hours, I didn't want it to end. But with three more episodes on the way, I am excited to see how the series continues. I would recommend this game to anyone who wants something different then the traditional zombie shooter and wants to become enveloped in the story.

Format Change and Revision

While this blog has sat and become rather dusty for the past year I have decided to clean it off and start new. I can't guarantee the frequency of posting, all I can say is it will be more action then it has been. Like attaching a lightning rod to the clown in a thunderstorm, the new format of this blog will be changed to short shocks of detailed information with interspersed jokes. With the average person becoming more and more accustomed to having information given to them in a fast manner with as little words as possible I think it will be better. Not so much limiting myself to a 140 character twitter post, because we all know twitter is the down fall of civilization, but more like a paragraph or two. I think this far better approach then drawling on and on for pages on end. Give the people what they want, short detailed information that answers their questions (hell might even pose a few different ones)

Duke Nukem: Forever Review

In 1996 I was a fresh faced child who was new to the world of PC gaming. My family had received an already outdated by many standards of the day, a Packard Bell 75mhz computer. With barely enough ability to run Windows 95, I was introduced to a whole new world. A world that was before this moment occupied by Sonic and Mario, due to only having access to console games at this time. Needless to say it took hold and PC gaming has always had a very special place in my heart.

One of my very first games I was introduced to was a shareware copy of Duke Nukem 3D. Probably more at the time I was more amazed with the shear amount of violence, gore and boobies than anything else in the game. I mean it was like a R-Rated Movie for me at this time. But enough reminiscing, needless to say Duke has always held a dear place in my heart, maybe because of my loss of innocence at hands of this game, but maybe because I played the hell out of shareware and the Atomic Edition of its incarnations.

This review unlike many of the others seeks to ratify Duke for the current generation. In all honestly I think many reviews have been too harsh on poor Duke.

Probably the best way to describe Duke Nukem: Forever is like have an old friend show up a party very late. Not just very late, almost to the point where the vast majority has left and simply the stragglers or people too drunk are still hanging around. This said old seeing the situation at your party being very dim and boring, decided the best way to liven up the party is to leave a turd by the punch bowl. To some people this seems funny (me) but to many others (vast majority of gaming community), the sight of a turd by the punch bowl disgusts them. Duke Nukem Forever is that turd.

Story: Is there really a story to Duke Nukem: Forever? Not really. It actually doesn’t deviate much from the original context in which we often find Duke. Aliens invade, steal our chicks and it’s up to Duke like always to save the world. There is a minor “plot” twist at the end of the game, but honestly it was pointless. But if it is something about classic games from the PC era, story was never their finer points. Usually revolving around the simple plot of kill everything with the largest gun possible, and Duke Forever does not leave this far behind. But can we really expect Duke to have that much a story? Probably not. I mean the character in itself is an arc-type that wouldn’t lead itself to even having a story. In many instances the story of Duke Nukem: Forever is a story Written, Produced and Directed by Duke himself.

Gameplay: The game play is your typical FPS. You point towards something that is running towards you and try to kill it before it kills you. There are some half hearted attempts for puzzles. They barrow from Half-Life 2’s physic puzzles. But they are nearly not as clever and actually serve to be minor hick-ups in the game play. But a game about Duke shouldn’t really be focused around puzzles anyway, it should be about killing things, and there is no lack of that. However the guns and creative ways to dispatch your enemies are just generic. The shotgun is still the best weapon, being able to take down all enemies expect for bosses in a few bursts. Even weapons like the shrink ray and the freeze ray which could have had the possibilities to be cool, fall short. And with “Halo” ability to have only two guns at a time is kinda annoying for a game such a Duke. I mean its suppose to be about having the most fire power as possible to kill your enemies, but with the lack of having only two weapons is annoying for this game. This is especially true with trying to the get the Gun Slinger achievement where you must carry Duke’s Gold M1911. This is all together too weak for any encounter except at the beginning. I don’t know what happened to Duke’s Desert Eagle that were in the original scream shots and game play video, but they should of left it in.

But without great level design you can’t have a great game. And honestly having a game like Duke Nukem 3D which was been a beacon for level design, to the really pitiful level design that is Duke Nukem Forever. With linear corridor esque levels that really towards the end of the game become painfully boring, you won’t ever get lost. However it feels like the game is really in two parts, a somewhat polished first part that has fun levels and is interesting. And second part that was thrown together out of broken ideas to simply publish and ship the game.

What were really terrible where the force platforming portions and the underwater part. Understandable once again there were left over from a different era of games, but they do not translate well into the modern field. One part in particular caused me great anguish. After being shrunken (it happens a lot in the game, but the few moments in the beginning it was actually kinda fun) later on, you have to maneuver yourself through air ways and machinery in the Hoover dam. I died nearly 25 times trying to get through moving gear within a machine. But I blame this one the controls.

Duke often controls like a tank. There are visibly present in the moments when you require hands of a surgeon to move across a careful narrow ledge. Or when under water he swims like he is covered in cement. Granted I wasn’t expecting speed of Michael Phelps but still…come on Duke, you can swim faster then that.

The Game also toots a degree of interactivity with the environment. This isn’t blowing up walls ala Red Faction, but various items in the environment you can play with and receive EGO boosts. Your EGO acts like a shield, so its necessary to receive these boosts. However at times it seems rather tedious. Case in point the Pin Ball Machine. Never in my life have I become so mad at a game within a game (a game cepetion). With un responsive controls how can one obtain the EGO boost from this god forsaken devil machine. Only with reflexes of a jungle cat and even that may not be enough. Granted this is not a necessity for the game, but if you are going to include something such as this within the game, at least make it playable.

Audio/Visual: Audio is nothing stellar. However Duke’s one-liners are still funny to me. I did actually laugh a couple times when Duke would yell “Damnit!” or “Shit!” when I messed something up. And the context particular ones are sometimes funny. But then you start to hear the same things over and over again, and then it loses its originality.

The visuals are by far the worst part of this game. I hate to say it but at sometimes it’s hard to even play it when it looks so bad. This is especially true of the outdoor environments. Jesus Christ how terrible can they be? With even barren lands the game still managed to slow down to a shear grind in some portions. Granted the visuals are suppose to be better on the PC (which is what I played the original demo on at PAX 2010), but for consoles it’s pretty terrible. The inside environments are not as bad as the outside, but they are still lacking. I will say some how the game can show slime and sheen very well. This is especially true in the Alien Hive level where everything is covered in a thin layer of film. But for a game that has been in development for 12 years, and has spent the last 2 years being ported to consoles should look better than this.

Overall:

Duke has not aged well. It’s sad to say when I looked back at the Game play videos from E3 2006 and 2007, the game looked better than it does now, and it looked like it had originality. But did I have fun playing it and reliving a part of my childhood, yes. But that can only go so far. I really wanted to like this game, and I did to a point, but nostalgia can only go so far. Unfortunately with a market flooded right now with Half-life, Halo’s, and Crysis, there may not be a place for Duke anymore. It’s kind of sad really, that all the other older games made more successful jumps to current generations then Duke (except for Quake 4, but that’s a whole different story). I really hope I see Duke again, and I think Gearbox has the ability to bring him back. They did accomplish something that took 12 years to do, which is pretty amazing. But in the end, the released a pretty half-assed attempt at trying to recapture the Duke franchise. It’s sad that this was supposed to be his crowning return, but instead it’s still a turd next to the punch bowl.

Score: 4.0/10